A prolonged Saturday?

Sometimes, it feels like we are living in the “Saturday.”

There was Friday (it was bitter, but good) and there was Sunday (we Know Christ is Risen) – but what do we do with right now?

He Lives. The Victory is won. But there is still pain; there is still sorrow in the World.

It feels like we know Friday happened, we know he promised to rise in three days. We know He fulfiled that promise and in fact did rise on that First Easter Morning. Now we are living in the “in-between” – in the light of his Promise to return again. A Saturday of sorts?

Waiting, with hope, for Sunday? He is coming back.

I don’t point out our current Saturday situation simply to reflect on the downtrodden and weary issues of the day. I say it  with a sense of wonder and hope; a sense of anticipation and excitement.

Easter reminds me how glorious it must have been to first discover the grave was empty.  And if the grave could not contain him – death has no power. In this Saturday, what do we have to fear?

With an empty grave and death losing its sting – I can’t help but hold a transfixed eye on the Savior who is Perfect Love.

There are no more powerful credentials he could present that that of keeping the first promise to rise.   One Marvelous day, we will once again see with our eyes, the Risen Lord.  His word is good. His promises hold strong.

It was Friday. It may be Saturday, but we Know – Sunday’s a Comin’.

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Joyful Weeping

Lisa’s memorial service was today. It was both very joyful & hopeful while also being sad.

I don’t think it’s sunk in yet for me. That there will be no more memories made with Lisa here on earth. It might not sink in that she is gone and just not moved geographically until it’s a few years out, when all of my friends and I grow older and my idea of Lisa is frozen in time.

The service was wonderful. Point blank asking what Lisa would ask of each of us. “What are you going to choose? In this moment of sadness, are you going to turn to God? Or are you going to turn from God?”

She was never shy about calling people out. Pointing out truth. In moments of sorrow, our hope is in turning to God.

Lisa’s Memorial

If anyone is interested, the memorial for Lisa will be:
Saturday, April 16 at 2 pm
Highland Baptist Church
8202 Boedeker
Dallas, TX 75225

“In lieu of flowers, financial gifts can be sent to Highland Baptist Church. Monies will be distributed to ministries that were dear to Lisa’s heart – Bulgarian Child Inc., Evangelical Baptist Church, Kazanlak, Bulgaria, and the Hope Pregnancy Center in Canton.”

Lisa

L-R Michelle, Sophie, Lisa, Debra, Paula at our friend Jenni's wedding

wow… It’s been an incredible couple of years.  I am so thankful to have met Lisa two years ago.

Lisa had an infectious smile.  Seriously, think “Stereotypical, gorgeous Texas Woman” and that was Lisa. She could line dance. She could wear the fanciest high heals with confidence. She could walk into any room and instantly have new friends. She would do anything for her friends. Need an encouraging text? Have a bad day and want to have a shoulder to cry on? Want a nice note in the mail via snail mail out of the blue? one word: Lisa.

On our first small group meeting, she shared about her recent health issues, how she had a very rare tumor and surgery to take it out cost her part of her lung.  It sounded serious, but we all prayed with her and thanked the Lord that so far, she was able to move forward, increasingly with distance in time from the illness.

We celebrated together a year ago when she had a clean scan. No tumor!

We laughed together until we cried at her parents house for our small group retreat last spring. I don’t even remember what we were laughing at, but it was marvelous.

Also last spring, she sat a boy (my now husband) down for a conversation about “his view on relationships” drawing out info to pass along to me. (I had no idea she did this until after!)  After my hubby & I started dating, I learned that she had numerous conversations with him, including a “Don’t you break her heart! Don’t you String her along!” conversation.

We cheered her along, prayed for her, as she traveled to Bulgaria in the summer to train and equip christians as well as to work with orphans.

She encouraged and uplifted me as we worked together to be wise and make good financial decisions.

We prayed profusely as word that the tumor was back and she needed surgery again. When the September surgery didn’t go as well as hoped, we prayed, we laughed, we visited, we believed that God’s plan is unknown to us and it is better than we could imagine.

We cried when the tumor was back again 2 weeks ago and the outlook was not good.

We knew the end was coming quick. We know that God loves Lisa more than any of us.

And today we celebrate.

With tears in our eyes, but a song in our heart, we know that Lisa is with our Heavenly Father.

She is no longer in pain. She is no longer sick. She is no longer fighting. No longer struggling with the things of this world.  She is with the One who loves her.  Peace and Comfort. Warmth and Light. And a place where she can once again, use her beautiful voice to praise the One paid her debts and will one day raise her life up from the dead.

Finally I ask, do you know the One? Did you know that he paid your debt (just like he paid Lisa’s & mine?). And he promises to raise your life up from the dead. Both litterally in the future (we’ll all die) BUT also Now.

Live life abundantly, because that is why he came. Lisa lived life to the fullest because of Christ. I hope my life Count’s for Christ as the example that Lisa set did.  I hope that one day, it will be known that I lived Life Abundantly, because of Christ.

John 10:10b I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

dissonance

I enjoy music and something about a quality song in a minor key makes me smile.  

I sing harmony. I long for the notes of dissonance where one sings strongly, moving against what seems as it should be; clawing at the melody so as not to lose the note and see the entire song unravel.  I like the way my mind can hear the resolve, running against the grain of what I sing.  I hear it, but I do not sing it too early.

When I listen, my ears tune in naturally to dissonance.  I  like way that the anticipation of “is it possible, can good come?” makes me want to hold my breath. To hope against all odds. To know that the dissonance in it’s chilling beauty will be resolved. When a composer writes in the perfect amount of musical trouble, the piece is all the more for it.

Tolkien writes of something similar in the Silmarillion. He tells of music – a glorious harmony, the union of many voices. An all encompassing song written before the start of time.  In this song, one of discord creeps in. Attempting to go his own way, the voice of dissonance tries to sow in sour notes – to ruin the masterpiece. It cannot be done. The composer takes those notes of disdain and weaves a strain of music around them producing something of even more beauty than before.

So why then, I ask, in the middle of life when discord arises, when dissonance is the note on my tongue, do I not actively seek out in my mind’s eye, the glorious resolve that is but a breath away?

wordless

Ironically, that’s about how I feel today. Yet I blog.

Too much going on; not much happening.

Not enough time to do anything; Too much time to waste.

Too many things to say; not enough words accessible to say them.

So many emotions to express; not enough tears left to spill.

That’s just how it is sometimes. That’s just how it is today.

Mostly, I think I’m doing alright. I think I’m just plain human.

Hope Springs Eternal

Bad outcome tonight. I guess the “never say die” attitude of Edmonton will be sorely tested on Wednesday.

My doctor appointments went ok. I actually find out more tomorrow after I have a chance to talk with the cardiologist. Tomorrow I go in to get my teeth fixed. Hey, I better charge up my ipod tonight.

Congrats to the CCBC Softball team on their first win of the season yesterday! It was a very fun game to watch.

Yesterday someone said that soccer & hockey are basically the same concept except that one is on ice. Although I beg to differ, I decided that it would be fun to pay a little attention to this thing called the “world cup.” Too bad my country did not make a game of it today. Perhaps against Italy.

Another thing that occurred to me today was that if I do plan to study in Europe eventually, a limited knowledge of football might come in handy.

There is Still Hope

As I was just shutting down a word program, my computer played the sound clip it always plays.

From Lord of the Rings, I believe the speaker is Arwen. She says “There is still hope!”

This evening it reminded me that in reference to the previous post, all is not lost.

Life is Beautiful

I was chatting just the other day with a friend about hope. I can’t even quite describe what a powerful thing Hope is. In some regards, it may be more powerful than love. If someone feels completely un-loved, yet maintains Hope, they will be able to survive that day.

I just finished watching “Live is Beautiful” and again, I am reflecting on the possibilities that exist when Hope is present. Small actions, a handful of words, a song, all saying don’t give up. There are better things to come.

Life is Beautiful. Sometimes bittersweet. But Hope, what would we do with out it? Probably only taste bitterness.

Such a valuable thing Hope is, couldn’t buy it with a billion dollars. Not even with a google.

Hope

On Sunday, my small group at church was talking about hope. The definition of hope we were discussing ran along the lines of Being Sure of something. Confident that it will happen. Not having fear or doubt that what you “hope” for (yes, I just used the word in the definition) will take place.

When we were discussing this in regards to the Christian faith, I made a comment that yeah, I totally agree with this definition of hope. Not “I hope it snows this winter” but I Have Hope that I will go to Heaven when I die. Hope that one day I will see Christ. (if You are reading this and you do not believe God exists, that the Bible is Truth, or that Jesus is Gods son sent to save humanity, then undoubtedly these two statements sound the same).

This Hope is a wonderful thing. I have very poor health and have often thought that I probably will not live to be super old. I find that I can talk pretty candidly about the possibility of dieing. When I do, everyone (including on Sunday) looks at me like I am crazy. Not really, I think I have just come to terms with the fact that Hope is all we have. (in Life, in death, in every moment). Everything in the world could turn upside down tomorrow, and what would I have, I would have my Hope in Christ.

Some would say (probably those who do not agree with my Hope in Christ) why then continue living each day? Recently I have been experiencing an overwhelming sense of Joy, Love, and Peace, with life itself. Each moment in time has so much potential and so much importance, why would you want to walk away from these daily gifts God gives?

Anyway, I don’t think discussing death is morbid or forbidden. Just as we live, we shall one day die. (Hey, just thought of something. Maybe because the definition of Hope has change through the years, I should start replacing it with “shall”) Why not discuss what happens next or why death is a necessity? Yeah, it is sad. Very sad. BUT, if you have Hope in Christ, the sadness does not last forever, Joy comes in the morning.